


Innuendos

by CelesteFitzgerald



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelesteFitzgerald/pseuds/CelesteFitzgerald
Summary: Ringo has a big nose.
Relationships: George Harrison/Ringo Starr
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51





	Innuendos

Normally, George would have been relieved to have a few days off from touring, rehearsing, and recording, but this was not one of those normal times. There was nothing relieving about the boring, stupid conversations the four of them had been having for the past two hours. What was the _point_ of it? If they weren’t going to talk about anything of importance, then they might as well stop talking.

There was a brief lull in the conversation, and George wondered if the others were finally ready to quit—

“Why is your nose so big, Ritchie?” John asked.

 _Oh, for fuck’s sake_.

Ringo burst out laughing, covering up the sound of George’s groan. “I was just born that way,” Ringo said with a smile. “I dunno why everyone makes such a big deal over it—I like my big nose.”

George liked Ringo’s nose too, but that didn’t mean they had to all sit down in a room and _talk_ about it.

“It’s really never bothered you?” John asked. When Paul elbowed him in the side, he added, “Not that I think it looks bad or anything—but don’t you worry about what all the judgmental arseholes think?”

“Nah,” Ringo waved him off. “Don’t you know?—size doesn’t matter,” he said with a wink.

That earned a good laugh from George and John, and a huff and eye-roll from Paul.

“What’s the matter, Paul?” Ringo asked. “There’s nothing wrong with your cute little nose,” he added, making John laugh even harder.

Paul glared at him and muttered something along the lines of “ _not little_ ” under his breath. After composing himself, Paul said, “Honestly, I don’t get the hype, Rich—your nose isn’t even that big.”

A huge smirk appeared on Ringo’s face. “Really now?” he said, raising a hand to his face. “You’ve never noticed how wide and long it is?” he asked, slowly dragging a finger from the bridge of his nose down to the tip.

Speaking of never noticing things, George sincerely hoped that no one noticed how warm his face was, or how tight his pants were.

“Don’t get too cocky,” John said. “My nose is long, too.”

“Long but skinny,” Ringo said, waggling a finger in John’s direction. “Your nose isn’t nearly as wide as mine.” He put his thumb and index finger on either side of his nose to emphasize his point, then he ran his fingers up and down the length of it.

George could barely take it. He subconsciously licked his lips and shifted his hands to block the view of the growing problem in his lap.

But that tiny bit of movement was all it took to catch John’s attention, and within seconds George was trying to avoid eye contact as John stared at him and grinned. “Alright there, George?” John asked. “Your entire face is turning red, and your nose looks a little… _irritated_.”

“I’m fine,” George mumbled, trying to ignore the three pairs of eyes that were now on him.

“Are you sure?” Ringo asked. “You’re looking a bit ill there. Maybe your nose is getting a bit…congested and full?”

George bit his lip and crossed his legs. “…No.”

John and Paul shared a look, but Ringo kept staring straight at George. “Really?” Ringo asked, refusing to drop the conversation. “You seem uncomfortable. Try to relax a bit,” Ringo said as he fluttered his eyes shut and gently ran his finger back and forth across his own nose, tickling small circles into the side of it.

But Ringo’s teasing backfired on him—his nose started to twitch, and a few seconds later, he let out a massive sneeze. He must have been surprised at what had happened, with the way that his mouth was hanging slightly open and his cheeks were slightly flushed…and his hair was messed up from when his head had jerked forward with the force of his sneeze…

Paul quietly said “ _bless you_ ” while John cracked up yet again. “Looks like that big nose of yours is too much for you to handle,” John said.

“Oh, fuck off,” Ringo said. “Like you could handle a nose this big….” He trailed off and turned to face George, who was not-so-subtly staring at him. “George?” he asked quietly, a hint of pink still splashed across his face.

At the sight of Ringo’s beautiful blue eyes, George let go of the rest of his resistance. “I think you might be sick,” George said.

“…What?”

“You sneezed. You’re sick,” George said. Then he leaned closer and lowered his eyelids. “Maybe we should head to the bathroom to blow your nose.”

Ringo’s eyes widened. “B-blow my—nose?” he sputtered.

“Yes. Now.”

Ringo took in a shaky breath. “…Well, I _am_ sick,” he said before grabbing George’s hand and dragging him off to the bathroom, ignoring the snickering friends they left behind.

Maybe Ringo _was_ sick. After all, he felt much better once they finished blowing his nose—then, for good measure, they blew George’s nose too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hehehe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


End file.
